I Live with Smaller Versions of Rainman and Monk….

Small people have the dubious task of growing up to be big people.  The process is both amusing and frustrating to both them and any innocent bystanders.

We marvel when small people begin to show signs of advancement – oh, he rolled over, oh, he is sitting, oh; there she goes – crawling….milestones to be enjoyed.  Soon they are walking and talking, just like little people should.  With these advances, comes joy and yes…the destruction of any remaining adult brain that the parents might possibly have held onto.

It began simple enough.  Davey started talking.  He would listen carefully and repeat words and phrases.  Stupidly we encouraged this behavior, like so many other unaware parents.  Eventually he understood that he could just say what he wanted rather than go through the elaborate pantomime hand gesture/grunting routine.   Not to be outdone, Alivia followed in her big brother’s footsteps and soon was asking for things as well.   And they did…again, and again, and again….

“I want strawberrberry milk…I want strawberryberry milk…I want strawberryberry milk…” accompanied with a tiny “More milk pease…more milk pease…more milk pease…” over and over again.  The soundtrack of my life at the moment.  Apparently it is not enough to ask something just once, it must be repeated in triplicate over and over again until some deranged adult finally responds “YES-YOU CAN HAVE MORE STAWBERRYBERRY MILK BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT!!!”  Even then it must be repeated at least one more time, just for emphasis.   And this goes on ALL FREAKIN’ DAY!! 

For this reason we began to refer to Davey as Rainman.  The hubby threatens to teach him to say “Wapner at 5” and “Kmart Sucks” on a regular basis.  Although I suspect he is beginning to understand that this would come back and bite him in the butt if I didn’t do it first.  And yeah, I did teach him to say ‘Ello Poppet! which he does with a perfect British accent – your welcome mom!

We then began to notice a new behavior.  I have these mums planted along the sidewalk in front of the house.  One afternoon I noticed that Alivia would carefully touch each plant as she walked down the sidewalk.  Soon I began to notice both kids would exhibit this gesture on a regular basis, not just with flowers but other random objects.  I was at a loss for words when one day the hubby said “Monk”.  Boom – that was it…we were living with small versions of Rainman and Monk.  Personally, I suspect that thinking of them in this way keeps us from totally losing it, because man – that gets annoying REAL fast.  And naturally they both know it and use it to keep us off-balance.  (Not hard at this point)

I have been assured that such channeling of these characters is ‘normal’ for small children and I shouldn’t be concerned.  I can’t help but wonder what the next phase will bring.  Perhaps Davey will show up one morning wearing an old beat up raincoat, clenching a cigar in his hand and muttering the words “Just one more thing, ma’am” in a very Detective Columbo-like manner...