Saturday, August 10, 2013

The Toothpaste Blues...

Two small children, ages 2 and 3 make life interesting.  Potty training is an Olympic event, meals are summit meetings and bedtime is everything from a walk in the park to all out war.  And yet we still manage to enjoy moments of pure joy and randomness.
Take for example the other morning.  Mornings during the week are an event in their own right.  Since we both have to leave early in the morning, things get a little hectic when you add two children who each has his own agenda.  As it happened, last Friday I had taken off work for a couple of appointments.  In one of those rare the planets have aligned moments, I did not have to get up before the crack of dawn, and was looking forward to getting a little extra sleep.  I should have known the kids would have other plans.
For once, both kids managed to sleep the entire night in their respective beds.  Ah the joy of such a little thing as to have one’s own bed for an entire night – I was beginning to think it was something I had imagined.   Even the dogs and cats were cooperating – no whining, no barking, no random meows to disturb us. 
At about 5:30, we both awoke to random babbling.  Let me mention that there is a baby monitor in the 2 year old’s room.    We both heard her babbling away, and slowly realized that the 3 year old was actually in there with her.  The two were having one of their many child-like conversations that only they understood completely.  Pretty soon we heard the not so stealthy pitter patter of tiny feet followed by swiftly running feet.  In the darkened room I could barely make out the determined face of a tiny girl, clutching her blanket as she climbed with purpose onto our bed and made her way to the pillows.  She promptly threw herself into the mass of fluff and announced with no uncertain terms “More Milk” as she settled in, a huge grin on her face at her cleverness. 
In the meantime the 3 year old stood on the trunk at the bottom of the bed.  I could tell he looked odd but couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what was off.  Then I realized that he was completely naked from the waist down.  Having been the one to put him to bed the night before, I knew personally that he did not start out that way.  “Where are your undies?” I asked.  He smiled at me like I was an idiot.  Heaving a resigned sigh, I got out of bed and said “Let’s go to the potty” to which he happily scampered off the trunk and toward the bathroom.
We have a baby gate on our bathroom.  Too many things of great temptation are held within, and to be honest I want to prolong the inevitable issues that come along with toddlers and toilets.  As I moved to lift the 3 year old over the gate, it registered in the back of my mind that his rubber boots (covered with space ships) were carefully placed just outside the gate.  I set him down and told him to go potty while I noted the pajama pants on the floor.  I headed off to his bedroom to grab some clean undies and clothes.  Back in the bathroom, I found him standing by the toilet.  “Go potty” I said. 
“Don’t want to potty” came the reply.  “Go potty” I repeated, as I placed his potty seat on the toilet and lifted him on to it.  “Where’s your undies” I asked – not really expecting an answer.  To my surprise he simply said “I put them in the trash.”  Sure enough, when I looked into the trash can, there was a pair of pull ups.  It was then that I noticed that the tub looked strange….it was blue.  At this point the 3 year old stood up and announced that he was done and requested his toilet paper.  Then I looked at him… I mean REALLY looked at him.  His hands looked pasty, and when he turned around I couldn’t help but notice his butt was as blue as the tub.  Slowly it began to come together in my mind. 
Apparently he had awakened and realized that he was wet.  Being a clever guy, he knew enough to head to the bathroom.  Why this required his spaceship rubber boots I am not sure, but when he reached the baby gate he had enough sense to remove them so that he might climb the gate.  He then ditched his pajama bottoms, tossed the wet pull up in the trash, went to the potty and carefully put his potty seat back in its rightful place.  He then looked for soap to wash up with, but instead came across his toothpaste, hence the blue tub, hands and for whatever reason butt.  I then found myself sticking him in the tub to clean up, getting him out just in time for my alarm to go off, alerting me that it was time to get p and get moving. 

I am happy to say that aside from a minty-fresh smelling bathroom and my extra sleep plans being thwarted, everything turned out fine.  I also want to mention that toothpaste is at the top of my grocery list…

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