Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Weirdness of Children...

They say the mind of a child is a wondrous thing.  I say the mind of a child is a weird thing.
Recently we began that age old dance better known as ‘potty training’.  At about two years old, Davey began showing great disdain when it came to dirty undies.  Between this and his interest in what the other kids were doing in the bathroom at day care, we dutifully trooped out and purchased a small potty seat that could also double as a little footstool.  After a lot of inspection and serious discussion, he eventually figured out what the potty chair was for and how to use it.  It didn’t take long before he announced that he wanted to potty in ‘the big potty’ so another trip to the store was in order to purchase a seat that would allow him to do so. 
After much trial and error, it was decided that it was time to attempt ‘big boy undies’.  Some generic training pants were purchased, a multi-pack of your basic blue, striped, and car motif underpants.  After a few trial runs, Thomas the train and Cars themed underpants joined the others in the undies drawer.  Strange discussions, like “You don’t want to pee in your Percy (train) undies do you?” and self-proclaimed declarations of “No pee on my cars” became common place.  Overall, with the exception of nap time and ‘nighty night’ time as well as the odd accident, Davey managed to keep his new found treasures clean and dry.
During all this time, Alivia began to take interest in all the commotion.  She too began to show interest both at home and at day care.  Her “what I did today” sheets began to reflect that at least once a day she would “try” to use the potty along with her fellow toddlers.  A small pink potty chair and a princess potty seat were purchased and we began to let her explore the wonders of the potty.
Being a smart little thing, much like her brother, she was quick to figure out the process – or at least her version of the process.  Step 1, pull down your pants.  Step 2, remove your diaper.  Step 3, sit on the potty.  Step 4, clap your hands and say “Yay!”   Simple enough. 
On a couple of occasions, she managed a dribble or two.  Enough for us to clap and express words of encouragement.    Then came the demands for ‘a tissue, a tissue’.   This was followed by ‘soap, soap – scrubba scrubba – dry dry dry’.  Tears were shed if she was not allowed what she deemed ‘enough time’.  (Let me specify – enough time to Alivia could be anything from a couple of seconds to 30 minutes of her sitting on the potty, jumping up, sitting on the potty ,etc.)  Although the will is there, the functionality still evades her overall.  But not for lack of trying…
This afternoon we arrived home from day care.  As per the routine, Davey is herded from the van to the bathroom.  As usual, Alivia stood outside the door muttering ‘a poopy a poopy’ before wandering off down the hall.  In an attempt to prevent the inevitable tantrum, I placed her pink potty chair out in the hallway and then began dinner preparations.  This seemed to appease her majesty, and peace reigned throughout the land.
Dinner was ready and Davey was seated at the table, ready to declare that he ‘didn't like dinner’.  As I was setting the plates on the table, a small whirlwind buzzed into the kitchen, flung a pair of shorts and a diaper onto the table then buzzed out of the kitchen.  Davey and I stared at each other, stunned.  A few minutes later the whirlwind was back….this time hauling a little pink potty chair.  She set it carefully down on the floor and then proceeded to plunk her little pink butt on the potty chair, carefully placing her hands in her lap and sitting there smiling demurely.  All very lady like.  After a moment, she leaped up and ran over to her chair, demanding “Up Up”.  Again Davey and I looked at each other.  He shrugged and said “Baby sit dere”, indicating that she was ready to eat. 
It took me about 5 minutes to stop giggling at the tiny pink potty chair and the naked baby butt running around the table, demanding to be fed. 
“Have I told you two that you are weird today?” I asked.

Davey eyed me and in a very serious voice said “Yeah”

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